Play With Reality: From Fixation to New Possibilities

“Human beings are the only species who believe in things that don’t exist.” (Yuval Noah Harari)

Did you know that every animal in nature experiences the world in a unique way? Bats “see” the world through sound waves, sharks sense electrical fields, and flies taste the world through their feet (thank god we’re not). Each of them perceives only part of reality, through the senses and filters that nature gave them.

But what about us, humans? Actually, we’re not different. We also experience the world through our limited senses and see only part of what’s available. We can’t sense certain sounds or lights, we don’t feel magnetic fields like birds, and much more.

But on top of that, humans have an additional filter, unique and incredibly powerful: the ability to create stories and believe in them.

Don’t tell anyone, but our reality is an “imagination game” we invented. A bubble of imagined reality made of beliefs, conventions, rules, and norms we created ourselves and act upon them. Things like money (a colored piece of paper), time, borders, organizations, job titles, status, Instagram likes Etc - are all powerful yet imagined stories. And despite being imaginary, these stories allow us to cooperate, form a shared identity, imagine the future, and build entire cultures. Identity, economy, laws, products, careers, and most of our lives are born and run by the power of stories.

Here’s another important aspect. Not only our external world is shaped by stories, but our personal experience is too. Every moment of our lives is mediated through glasses made of interpretations, beliefs, fears, and dreams. We don't just react to events. We react to what they mean, according to the story we believe in.

In short, stories are what allow us to function and navigate through all fields of life succesfully, move forward and join together, collaborate, build systems that scale etc.

This is also why stories matter so much at work.

In organizations, stories are everywhere. They live in strategies and KPIs, in “how things are done around here”, in what gets rewarded or punished, in what people are allowed to say etc. A team is not only a group of people. It is a shared narrative about what matters, what is possible, and how to get there.

These stories are a great power, but also a great danger - It arises when we forget it’s an imagination game, and that the story is not reality itself. When we cling to a particular story and believe in it strongly, mental fixations starts to form - assumptions that “this is how it has to be”, total certainty that “I’m right and the other is wrong”, a limited view of the possibilities available to us and much more.

Almost every challenge at work contains at least one fixation like this. Not because people are bad, but because stories are sticky and seem so real.

Here’s a simple example.

A manager notices a talented team member lately becoming quiet in meetings. The manager’s mind quickly creates a story: “She’s disengaged. She doesn’t care anymore, she's probably looking for her next role” and so on. From there, this manager will start looking for proof for his story, acting upon it, becoming more tense around her, reacting negatively to her actions, creating similar responses from the team member itself, until it accumulates to a crisis.

But what if the story was wrong from the start?

In a one-on-one conversation, the manager might have discover a different reality - The team member is not disengaged but overwhelmed, unsure what is expected from her in this new project, and afraid of looking incompetent in front of her manager. The real issue is not motivation. It is clarity and psychological safety.

Same facts. Different reality, and completely different actions that can be taken.

When we live inside one story, we see a narrow peace of reality. But when we agree to loosen the story, reality can become wider, with more options and actions in it, and often, with very different results.

If we remember that, in the end, all challenges and problems are contain a story that influences it greatly, we can also remember that we can play with it, soften it, replace it, and see it differently. Our experience of “reality” is more fluid, flexible and less complicated than we think, and it is shaped by the stories we tell ourselves.

So here is a small invitation, especially if you lead people and projects inside an organization.

Pick one situation that feels stuck right now. A conflict, a delay, a difficult colleague, a decision you are avoiding etc.

Write down, in one sentence, the story you are currently believing.

Then ask yourself three questions:

1. What else could be true, that is just as reasonable?
2. What am I treating as a fact, that is actually an interpretation?
3. If I held a slightly different story for the next 24 hours, what small action would I take?

Try that action and see what changes - Who knows, you might get surprised.

And if you tried it and saw something new - know that this could be just the beginning to a whole realm of new possibilities.

Come play with us.